Can I be angry for a moment?

I wonder if you are one of the lucky ones who can easily recognise when you’re feeling angry and express it appropriately. I have to work hard to attain such heights of expression, having been brought up to suppress anger, avoid ‘hurting’ others, and always ‘keep the peace’.

I’m aware of the value of self-restraint, the need to think before speaking and the need to be kind and compassionate, but let me speak up on behalf of those of us who might benefit from simply owning the feeling of anger.

“I am angry” spoken to myself is one of the most healing statements I can offer myself and happily prevents me from bottling up a feeling that can inevitably jump out of the bottle when least helpful. I may not always know what it is I’m feeling angry about. I may be angry on behalf of another. I might be experiencing ‘inappropriate’ rage, triggered from who knows where. It doesn’t always need to be identified, but I can still feel it.

An Angry Word
Can I speak an angry word?
Is it okay for it to be heard?
Or should it stay silent, locked away,
Left to smoulder for one more day?

Not just a word but more than that,
A submarine within my gut
That sails inside me, day and night
Propellers churning, out of sight

Still searching to reach the air
Is it worth it? Will you care?
But once released, I can breathe again:
The feeling is out. It’s not a sin!

Oh Joy! Fresh air inhaled:
As anger’s dispersed, no longer impaled:
Distorting my gut, creating pain.
Released and free… like falling rain.

Estelle Earnshaw 16.2.21

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